Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I Love the Writers' Strike

When the writers strike first went down, I must admit that I was sort of worried about the few shows that I like stopping for an indefinite period of time. Le Wif and I had created, like so many others (probably?), television "nights" where we'd watch, eat popcorn, and generally enjoy the fruits of our sloth. Mostly, it was an excuse to take a rest from the various remodeling projects we've undertaken over the past year.

Mondays was Heroes, and sometimes Chuck, both monumental time-wasters. Thursdays, though, was the big night--we've been superficially committed to The Office, 30 Rock, and My Name is Earl through the past season-and-a-half and, despite the fact that both The Office and My Name is Earl have significantly decreased in quality in their 2007-8 seasons, we were pretty much enjoying it all. And then word of the strike began to brew.

Recently, new episodes of the great majority of television shows have stopped appearing, and with that, I assume ratings have been going down. Note that I haven't checked any numbers or reports, but this is nothing more than pure conjecture. Point is, there's nothing to watch right now. Which is probably bad for television networks, and monumentally great for the American public. And by "American public," I mean "me."

I've noticed that we've been watching less television over the last couple weeks, and that the house has been in better order. Not much better, mind you, but better nonetheless. It's crazy--I have time to do the stuff I now realize I'd rather be doing. Weird, huh? For example, last week I sent some manuscripts to agents and started reading--get this--a book. Wild shit. It's amazing what we can do when we let ourselves.

Admittedly, television has been pretty damned good for the last few years. This is, of course, my opinion, and it's probably due to the fact that folks around my age are now beginning to write television shows. Which means that I identify with it more, or find more humor in the lot of it, or whatever. It's all changing now, because of this dang strike. And I hope it never ends.

Don't get me wrong--I think that the writers should get the money they want, et cetera ad nauseum. But I'm pretty much done with being a fan of any tv shows, at least for the time being. Here's why--the networks, presumably in response to this, are bringing back all these shows that we remember from our childhoods. Because they want to tap into our nostalgia banks and tune in. All this started with movie remakes years ago.

Remakes, of course, have a rich history--but back in the day, when they used to remake a movie, they'd give it a different title or put some kind of spin on the story, in an attempt to take a classic and make it a newer, hipper, or more pleasant classic. Now, they just slap a cgi Great Dane on the screen and appeal to the 30-year-old's inner child in the previews, make them spend the 10 bucks or whatever, and don't bother to pay attention to the quality of the garbage they're putting out. In other words, they're raping our collective childhood by putting Jessica Simpson in the role of Daisy Duke and putting a live-action Speed Racer out. Ick.

Like I said, this is moving into television big-time, and you can expect it to completely ruin the reasonably good run that television's had over the last few years. Case in point: American Gladiators.

Oh my Fucking God.

AG classic:

AG Redux:

I'm speechless. Can't write any more. Am going to go jump off of a building right now. Probably a tall one. Oy.

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